Social media reminding us of our past can be a great / a not so pleasurable experience. The other day I came across this.. a post from 2011. The typos and the time I posted suggests I’d had a few, but 2011? Id recently just turned 18.
This made me realise that this kind of behaviour has been happening for a long time.
I met with my girls this weekend, and whilst chats were mainly usual girl chat, we couldn’t help but talk about all this going ons in the news. All these famous women coming forward about times they probably don’t even want to reflect on.
Ever since we have been old enough to go ‘out out’ we’ve been opened to this kind of disgusting and unacceptable behaviour. We spoke about stories of when guys actually put their hands up our skirts, how we’ve all had our boobs groped and how when we’ve told somebody (e.g. security) they did absolutely nothing about it. I can imagine for most young adult girls, who have been going out since 17/18 will have similar stories and memories.
A time that sticks very vividly in my head was one NYE, I was out with my uni girls and we went to our favourite club. I’d say the girl to guy ratio was 2:8, very male dominated. I remember walking in and trying to walk to the toilet and on that walk, got grabbed several times, my arse was slapped and hands wondered up my dress. I was that furious I didn’t even make it to the toilet but made a U turn and walked straight back out again. What was the point in telling security? They wouldn’t have been the slightest bit interested..
From my 2011 post, this was a regular occurrence. I’m quite mouthy, and especially when I’ve had a drink, I can stand up for myself. If someone touched me, especially slapping my backside, the frustration would instantly build inside and I’d turn around and snap, telling them how dare they touch me. And I got a mixed bag of reactions; I’d get the ones that were so surprised i’d got a mouth they just looked in shock and walked away, whilst others wouldn’t like that i’d retaliated and actually start shouting back and threatening me. How could they even have the audacity to have a go back at me??? Saying it was my fault for wearing a dress, that I was ‘asking’ for attention. I have always and always will dress for myself and myself only. I go out to have a good time, as do most other girls, we don’t go out to be sexually harassed by strangers.
Now on this subject, we spoke to our close male friends, who when listening to the stories replied with ‘that doesn’t happen’ and ‘what boys do that’. They couldn’t believe that these situations actually happen due to not being in that segment of males that do it. And I do believe them when they say they have never touched a girl like that, because not all males fall into the ‘its okay to grab a girls bum’ category and that is probably why they are my friends. But this makes me wonder…those males in that category, do they think that their friends doing that to girls is okay? Would they stand up for themselves and say to their mates that that kind of behaviour is not okay? I guess it depends on their view on this subject.
Just writing this has added to a long existing anger, because I know that it 100% still happens and hopefully with the current news, security and members of staff will take these complaints more seriously. More and more girls are standing up for themselves and having the confidence to come forward and show this kind of behaviour will not be tolerated anymore.
I’d love to hear peoples opinions on this, I’m now 24 and this kind of behaviour is still very much present. I still go out and STILL get inappropriately touched. Should it have taken for all these women in the news to come forward about being sexually harassed for people to realise this happens on a regular basis to a lot of women?