Like every other millennial who has finished uni and doesn’t want to face the real world and get a job, I thought about going travelling. I have always wanted to travel, to Australia in particular. But since I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, I’ve felt like it has been an impossible dream. Every time I would consider going or start looking into flights, my demons inside would shoot me down and tell me I wouldn’t be able to do it. But I am determined to at least try and if it doesn’t work out then it wasn’t meant to be. But I’m aiming to help others who also might feel they can’t follow their dreams because they’ve been diagnosed with a Mental Illness.

With my Sertraline allowing me to be more constant with my moods and the ending of my masters course I just decided one day to go into STA travel and enquire about going. I’m the kind of person where once I’ve got an idea in my head, it’s hard to let it go and on this particular day I thought back to the person I was before my mental illness and thought ‘I wouldn’t let anything stop me going travelling’… so why should I now?

My trip starts out with a month in Fiji and then onto Sydney where my working visa starts. I had to do a medical before being accepted for a visa which will be explained more in another post. Everything was coming together and I actually enjoyed the times where I could sit and plan my journey.

I have only planned a week in Sydney and the rest I will plan when I get there,. Now those with anxiety are probably like ‘id have to have everything planned down to the day’ where actually for me, I would feel more anxious if I had made a structured plan and for some reason was not able to stick to it. For example if something happened and I wasn’t able to make it to that specific hostel that I had planned, my anxiety would be more concerned that my plans weren’t going to the structured timetable. Also being more flexible means that I can change plans if I need too, if I meet a group of people – I could go where they are going or if I really like a place, I could stay for more days. Don’t get me wrong the flights, transfers and airport pick ups had to be booked and structured down to a tee, otherwise my panic would set it, but once I’m at the first hostel I’m fully flexible! I guess this is down to my own anxiety needs.

So the main thing here is that I’m going on a solo adventure (much to my mothers dismay) but I felt that I couldn’t keep relying on other people and at this stage of my life, my friends had other commitments and I felt like for once, in a very long time, I wanted to be in control of what I do and when. I feel ready to get back to how I used to be where I did what I wanted to do. The only way to do this is to go alone.

I was once a very independent person and it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest being on my own or meeting new people. But now my anxiety is constantly in my head making me overthink every single thing. But this is another reason why I’ve chosen to go alone. All because I’ve been diagnosed with a mental illness, this will not stop me from wanting to achieve things I’ve always wanted to do. Yes, it is going to be hard, very hard on some days, especially when depression tries to tell you ‘no one likes you’ or ‘those people don’t want to speak to you’ but I feel like this is something I need to overcome and prove to myself that it is okay to be alone sometimes.

An aim I have given myself as part of my self-care whilst I’m travelling is to accept that being alone is okay. To start to appreciate my alone time and realise that not everything in life can be done with somebody else. I have found recently that I have had to fill my spare time otherwise I would sit and overthink and get sad, meaning I cant relax or just have some time doing nothing. But as I’m going to be so busy doing lots of new things and be around lots of people constantly, I will need to have time away from people. This isn’t going to be the easiest thing for me because I’ve never had to be alone. I’ve always had my friends, my sisters and family around me and I’ve always chose to be with somebody else over being on my own. So we will see how this one goes.

I found that once I’d booked my travelling adventure, that any anxieties I had were answered by other travellers. I realised even people that don’t have a diagnosis of anxiety, naturally have similar worries and feelings that I could relate too. This is what I want my blog to become. I want it to not just record my travels and give the best places to go see, but also to give guidance to other people that like me, felt my mental health was a barrier to my travelling dreams. I want to be able to give my own tips on things that are helping me whilst being away. The mental health community is by far the most supportive group of people I’ve ever met and I want to work alongside them to show people that having a mental health diagnosis does not mean you cannot follow your dreams and have amazing experiences like everybody else. You might just need a little more help on the way.

S x

I’m a classic northerner who headed a little bit down south and was contesting it was not ‘Barthhhh’ but ‘baff’.

I had been told Bath was beautiful, ‘stunning’ in fact, so thought to escape for a couple of days from the midlands, we would go see for ourselves.

The hotels were coming up pretty pricey (as expected, I’d also heard it was an expensive place to go) so for value for money, we went for a lovely apartment from Airbnb. The advert said it was only half a mile from the town and the station, and you sometimes think ‘is it though?’ and expect to walk at least 20 minutes, but this place was literally around 2 corners and you was in the main town. The walk to the station took me 7 minutes (and i was carrying a suitcase and a heavy bag). It was a lovely terraced townhouse with the apartment on the 2nd floor up. Basically, it was the ideal place for a few days!

The centre was compact, which was great for pub hopping! It carried a relaxing atmosphere, even though people were going about their day to day activities. There is also red tour buses everywhere, which, if thats your kinda thing, you won’t miss them, but we were very happy walking around at our own pace.

Actually we were very content with just bimbling around (we did look at what there was to do around close proximity, but everything was either a drive away, or super expensive!) We were very sad to have missed out on the ‘glow in the dark’ crazy golf, which finished on the 3rd Jan 🙁 I can see why their main tourists are middle aged, married couples because there were very little to do that would entertain anyone else who don’t like museums. Lucky for us, there were enough pubs to keep us ginned up for 2 days.

The whether was pretty grim, I mean expected in January, but sods law that the day we were leaving, it was sunny and quite warm! These two photos taken in the same place, but a day apart, really shows how much different a place can be in nice weather!


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The question I keep thinking is; is it overrated? Yes it was beautiful, and the many bars and pubs we visited were very very nice, but I think my 2 day stay there was enough. Don’t get me wrong, the Roman architecture was lovely to see (especially coming from Birmingham), and the Abbey and scenery was stunning, but now I can say I’ve been and seen it, I won’t need to be going back in the very far future).

Favourite places that need a mention:

Bath Abbey:


Bath Abbey

This was beautiful, inside and out. They asked for a £4 donation, (which compared to the £17+ for the Roman Baths next door) was pretty reasonable. You’re allowed to walk around at your own place, and even though I’m not slightly religious, I really did appreciate the beauty inside. I didn’t feel it was the right atmosphere to be whipping my phone out every 2 minutes for photos, so ill leave the insides something to see for yourself!



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Sally Lunn’s; Hidden down a lil alley way!

Sally Lunns: Historic Eating House


We wanted somewhere to go to for a nice brunch, that was only available in Bath (basically anything but Boston Tea Party) so we had a lil Google to find something. We found ‘Sally Lunn’s’ which is famous for its tea and eating house selling ‘Sally Lunns Buns!’ (To me and other midlanders: its basically a big ‘cob’ that you can have savoury or sweet). The building was the original building, where the buns were first made and it even has a lil kitchen section downstairs with a little shop where you can get a bun to take home! Definitely worth a visit!

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My Savoury Lunn Bun! 







Hall & Woodhouse


This was found accidentally, we were walking home and happened to walk around the back and could see in, and we were like ‘fancy a drink?’. It was the typical millennial quirky bar, but I loveddd it. I mean, it even had a massive palm tree in the middle? Loads of people in cool hats and laptops were around a table, next to a table of suited middle aged men. They served a wide collection of alcohol bevs, as well had their own coffeebar, so pretty much would suit all tastes.

The Bath Brew House

This was a pub we found from just walking past, it looked busy inside so we went in. I mean £12.80 for a double gin and a pint.. our stay lasted 1 round of drinks but then we saw a sign which said ‘pub quiz’ on a tuesday evening... so guess where we ended up on tuesday evening! It was actually so much fun, and it was super busy with lots of teams, (so id suggest getting there early if you’re planning on going because there was a lot of people having to stand) ..and we definitely came last with 14/60! But either way, a cute lil pub which also has a brewery tour, if thats your kind of thing!

S x







Only 5 more days before we can open our first window!

I’ve been seeing a lot of different advent calendars around this year but Morrisons are selling the best advent calendar ever. Each day for 24 days, you open the door to a 50ml (a double shot) of different brands of Gin! Personally couldn’t think of anything better!

All the miniature bottles are glass and when I find a nice bottle of Gin, I keep them to upcycle by adding fairy lights in them, so I’m bound to be keeping most of these little ones for my collection.

Here is a list of all the Gins inlcuded!

IMG_9626Ill be updating this when Iopen a door to an especially exciting Gin!

S x

*This is not a paid or sponsored post, I’m just spreading the festive Gin spirit <3 Ginmas

“You can be a depressive and be happy, just as you can be a sober alcoholic”

– Matt Haig (Reasons to stay alive)

On World Mental Health day 2017, I wanted to write something about how people can be fighting a battle that you know nothing about.

Most of my photos on instagram show me with a beaming smile. Sometimes these are my true feelings that day, sometimes its just for show. And sometimes, its me pretending to myself that I’m not depressed or anxious, trying to pretend to myself that everything is okay.

Very little people in my life know about my mental illness.


I’m a very smiley, confident, bold person. I am interested in makeup, and keep up with the latest fashion trends. My life, to some people seems perfect. Ive gone to university, completed my masters, I have my own car, I have amazing friends and a supportive family. They see the hard outer shell I have created to get me through that days, to them, how could I possibly be so depressed, when everything in my life seemed perfect?

Maybe I don’t tell people because they won’t believe me. I have many days where I feel great, where the smile I wear is genuine, I can go out, laugh and have the best fun.  I don’t have to be crying or panic everyday to suffer from depression and anxiety. Not every day is a bad day.

It’s not until you’re crying your heart out at home alone, that you realise nobody knows how unhappy you are. No matter how strong you are, at some point you can reach rock bottom.

What people don’t realise is;

  • I can be in a room full of people, looking like I’m having the best time – when really I feel completely on my own and feel completely empty.
  • Every morning its a real struggle to get out of bed, not because I’m lazy but because I mentally cant face the day.
  • I rip the insides of my lips to shreds with crippling anxiety.
  • That some days, the biggest achievement I can achieve that day is having a shower, or eating a meal.
  • I can have moments where everything comes crumbling down and I sob my heart out and have no explanation why.
  • My mental illnesses causes me physical pain.
  • I am so so strong, yet also so exhausted. I say I’m tired, when actually I’m physically exhausted.
  • I have constant thoughts that I will never be enough.
  • The some nights; I want to fall asleep and never wake up.

‘Mental health is a real thing. You never know what people are going through’

– Jay-Z talking about the death of Chester Bennington.

But this has made me realise, that I don’t know everyone else stories. The girls with thousands of followers, with hundreds of likes on their photos.. are they happy? Do they feel alone, and cry themselves to sleep? ‘How can they be?’ people say, they’ve got the perfect life. Things go on behind closed doors that people have no idea about, and for people to open those doors and let people in, is so brave.

IMG_5117The main line for mental illness is that it’s an ‘invisible illness’. People who suffer from a mental illness are the strongest people I know. They fight each day putting on a brave face, to show the world they are not beaten. So if someone looks like they are living the perfect life, it does not mean they are not fighting demons in their head.

Everyday should be mental health day, but if today being World Mental Health Day 2017 gets just one more person to talk about mental health, then its one more step to this world becoming a better place.

S x

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My Facebook status from 2011.

Social media reminding us of our past can be a great / a not so pleasurable experience. The other day I came across this.. a post from 2011. The typos and the time I posted suggests I’d had a few, but 2011? Id recently just turned 18.

This made me realise that this kind of behaviour has been happening for a long time.

I met with my girls this weekend, and whilst chats were mainly usual girl chat, we couldn’t help but talk about all this going ons in the news. All these famous women coming forward about times they probably don’t even want to reflect on.

Ever since we have been old enough to go ‘out out’ we’ve been opened to this kind of disgusting and unacceptable behaviour. We spoke about stories of when guys actually put their hands up our skirts, how we’ve all had our boobs groped and how when we’ve told somebody (e.g. security) they did absolutely nothing about it. I can imagine for most young adult girls, who have been going out since 17/18 will have similar stories and memories.

A time that sticks very vividly in my head was one NYE, I was out with my uni girls and we went to our favourite club. I’d say the girl to guy ratio was 2:8, very male dominated. I remember walking in and trying to walk to the toilet and on that walk, got grabbed several times, my arse was slapped and hands wondered up my dress. I was that furious I didn’t even make it to the toilet but made a U turn and walked straight back out again. What was the point in telling security? They wouldn’t have been the slightest bit interested..

From my 2011 post, this was a regular occurrence. I’m quite mouthy, and especially when I’ve had a drink, I can stand up for myself. If someone touched me, especially slapping my backside, the frustration would instantly build inside and I’d turn around and snap, telling them how dare they touch me. And I got a mixed bag of reactions; I’d get the ones that were so surprised i’d got a mouth they just looked in shock and walked away, whilst others wouldn’t like that i’d retaliated and actually start shouting back and threatening me. How could they even have the audacity to have a go back at me??? Saying it was my fault for wearing a dress, that I was ‘asking’ for attention. I have always and always will dress for myself and myself only. I go out to have a good time, as do most other girls, we don’t go out to be sexually harassed by strangers.

Now on this subject, we spoke to our close male friends, who when listening to the stories replied with ‘that doesn’t happen’ and ‘what boys do that’. They couldn’t believe that these situations actually happen due to not being in that segment of males that do it. And I do believe them when they say they have never touched a girl like that, because not all males fall into the ‘its okay to grab a girls bum’ category and that is probably why they are my friends. But this makes me wonder…those males in that category, do they think that their friends doing that to girls is okay? Would they stand up for themselves and say to their mates that that kind of behaviour is not okay? I guess it depends on their view on this subject.

Just writing this has added to a long existing anger, because I know that it 100% still happens and hopefully with the current news, security and members of staff will take these complaints more seriously. More and more girls are standing up for themselves and having the confidence to come forward and show this kind of behaviour will not be tolerated anymore.

I’d love to hear peoples opinions on this, I’m now 24 and this kind of behaviour is still very much present. I still go out and STILL get inappropriately touched. Should it have taken for all these women in the news to come forward about being sexually harassed for people to realise this happens on a regular basis to a lot of women?

S x


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