Bath…or Barth?

A northerner on a southern adventure

I’m a classic northerner who headed a little bit down south and was contesting it was not ‘Barthhhh’ but ‘baff’.

I had been told Bath was beautiful, ‘stunning’ in fact, so thought to escape for a couple of days from the midlands, we would go see for ourselves.

The hotels were coming up pretty pricey (as expected, I’d also heard it was an expensive place to go) so for value for money, we went for a lovely apartment from Airbnb. The advert said it was only half a mile from the town and the station, and you sometimes think ‘is it though?’ and expect to walk at least 20 minutes, but this place was literally around 2 corners and you was in the main town. The walk to the station took me 7 minutes (and i was carrying a suitcase and a heavy bag). It was a lovely terraced townhouse with the apartment on the 2nd floor up. Basically, it was the ideal place for a few days!

The centre was compact, which was great for pub hopping! It carried a relaxing atmosphere, even though people were going about their day to day activities. There is also red tour buses everywhere, which, if thats your kinda thing, you won’t miss them, but we were very happy walking around at our own pace.

Actually we were very content with just bimbling around (we did look at what there was to do around close proximity, but everything was either a drive away, or super expensive!) We were very sad to have missed out on the ‘glow in the dark’ crazy golf, which finished on the 3rd Jan 😦 I can see why their main tourists are middle aged, married couples because there were very little to do that would entertain anyone else who don’t like museums. Lucky for us, there were enough pubs to keep us ginned up for 2 days.

The whether was pretty grim, I mean expected in January, but sods law that the day we were leaving, it was sunny and quite warm! These two photos taken in the same place, but a day apart, really shows how much different a place can be in nice weather!

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The question I keep thinking is; is it overrated? Yes it was beautiful, and the many bars and pubs we visited were very very nice, but I think my 2 day stay there was enough. Don’t get me wrong, the Roman architecture was lovely to see (especially coming from Birmingham), and the Abbey and scenery was stunning, but now I can say I’ve been and seen it, I won’t need to be going back in the very far future).

Favourite places that need a mention:

Bath Abbey:

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Bath Abbey

This was beautiful, inside and out. They asked for a £4 donation, (which compared to the £17+ for the Roman Baths next door) was pretty reasonable. You’re allowed to walk around at your own place, and even though I’m not slightly religious, I really did appreciate the beauty inside. I didn’t feel it was the right atmosphere to be whipping my phone out every 2 minutes for photos, so ill leave the insides something to see for yourself!

 

 

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Sally Lunn’s; Hidden down a lil alley way!

Sally Lunns: Historic Eating House

 

We wanted somewhere to go to for a nice brunch, that was only available in Bath (basically anything but Boston Tea Party) so we had a lil Google to find something. We found ‘Sally Lunn’s’ which is famous for its tea and eating house selling ‘Sally Lunns Buns!’ (To me and other midlanders: its basically a big ‘cob’ that you can have savoury or sweet). The building was the original building, where the buns were first made and it even has a lil kitchen section downstairs with a little shop where you can get a bun to take home! Definitely worth a visit!

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My Savoury Lunn Bun! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hall & Woodhouse

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This was found accidentally, we were walking home and happened to walk around the back and could see in, and we were like ‘fancy a drink?’. It was the typical millennial quirky bar, but I loveddd it. I mean, it even had a massive palm tree in the middle? Loads of people in cool hats and laptops were around a table, next to a table of suited middle aged men. They served a wide collection of alcohol bevs, as well had their own coffeebar, so pretty much would suit all tastes.

The Bath Brew House

This was a pub we found from just walking past, it looked busy inside so we went in. I mean £12.80 for a double gin and a pint.. our stay lasted 1 round of drinks but then we saw a sign which said ‘pub quiz’ on a tuesday evening... so guess where we ended up on tuesday evening! It was actually so much fun, and it was super busy with lots of teams, (so id suggest getting there early if you’re planning on going because there was a lot of people having to stand) ..and we definitely came last with 14/60! But either way, a cute lil pub which also has a brewery tour, if thats your kind of thing!

S x

 

 

 

 

 

 

Merry ‘Gin’mas!

The best advent calendar

Only 5 more days before we can open our first window!

I’ve been seeing a lot of different advent calendars around this year but Morrisons are selling the best advent calendar ever. Each day for 24 days, you open the door to a 50ml (a double shot) of different brands of Gin! Personally couldn’t think of anything better!

All the miniature bottles are glass and when I find a nice bottle of Gin, I keep them to upcycle by adding fairy lights in them, so I’m bound to be keeping most of these little ones for my collection.

Here is a list of all the Gins inlcuded!

IMG_9626Ill be updating this when Iopen a door to an especially exciting Gin!

S x

*This is not a paid or sponsored post, I’m just spreading the festive Gin spirit ❤ Ginmas

‘You can be depressive and be happy’

“You can be a depressive and be happy, just as you can be a sober alcoholic”

– Matt Haig (Reasons to stay alive)

On World Mental Health day 2017, I wanted to write something about how people can be fighting a battle that you know nothing about.

Most of my photos on instagram show me with a beaming smile. Sometimes these are my true feelings that day, sometimes its just for show. And sometimes, its me pretending to myself that I’m not depressed or anxious, trying to pretend to myself that everything is okay.

Very little people in my life know about my mental illness.

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I’m a very smiley, confident, bold person. I am interested in makeup, and keep up with the latest fashion trends. My life, to some people seems perfect. Ive gone to university, completed my masters, I have my own car, I have amazing friends and a supportive family. They see the hard outer shell I have created to get me through that days, to them, how could I possibly be so depressed, when everything in my life seemed perfect?

Maybe I don’t tell people because they won’t believe me. I have many days where I feel great, where the smile I wear is genuine, I can go out, laugh and have the best fun.  I don’t have to be crying or panic everyday to suffer from depression and anxiety. Not every day is a bad day.

It’s not until you’re crying your heart out at home alone, that you realise nobody knows how unhappy you are. No matter how strong you are, at some point you can reach rock bottom.

What people don’t realise is;

  • I can be in a room full of people, looking like I’m having the best time – when really I feel completely on my own and feel completely empty.
  • Every morning its a real struggle to get out of bed, not because I’m lazy but because I mentally cant face the day.
  • I rip the insides of my lips to shreds with crippling anxiety.
  • That some days, the biggest achievement I can achieve that day is having a shower, or eating a meal.
  • I can have moments where everything comes crumbling down and I sob my heart out and have no explanation why.
  • My mental illnesses causes me physical pain.
  • I am so so strong, yet also so exhausted. I say I’m tired, when actually I’m physically exhausted.
  • I have constant thoughts that I will never be enough.
  • The some nights; I want to fall asleep and never wake up.

‘Mental health is a real thing. You never know what people are going through’

– Jay-Z talking about the death of Chester Bennington.

But this has made me realise, that I don’t know everyone else stories. The girls with thousands of followers, with hundreds of likes on their photos.. are they happy? Do they feel alone, and cry themselves to sleep? ‘How can they be?’ people say, they’ve got the perfect life. Things go on behind closed doors that people have no idea about, and for people to open those doors and let people in, is so brave.

IMG_5117The main line for mental illness is that it’s an ‘invisible illness’. People who suffer from a mental illness are the strongest people I know. They fight each day putting on a brave face, to show the world they are not beaten. So if someone looks like they are living the perfect life, it does not mean they are not fighting demons in their head.

Everyday should be mental health day, but if today being World Mental Health Day 2017 gets just one more person to talk about mental health, then its one more step to this world becoming a better place.

S x

We spoke of when guys actually put their hands up our skirts

More and more girls are standing up for themselves and having the confidence to come forward and show this kind of behaviour will not be tolerated anymore.

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My Facebook status from 2011.

Social media reminding us of our past can be a great / a not so pleasurable experience. The other day I came across this.. a post from 2011. The typos and the time I posted suggests I’d had a few, but 2011? Id recently just turned 18.

This made me realise that this kind of behaviour has been happening for a long time.

I met with my girls this weekend, and whilst chats were mainly usual girl chat, we couldn’t help but talk about all this going ons in the news. All these famous women coming forward about times they probably don’t even want to reflect on.

Ever since we have been old enough to go ‘out out’ we’ve been opened to this kind of disgusting and unacceptable behaviour. We spoke about stories of when guys actually put their hands up our skirts, how we’ve all had our boobs groped and how when we’ve told somebody (e.g. security) they did absolutely nothing about it. I can imagine for most young adult girls, who have been going out since 17/18 will have similar stories and memories.

A time that sticks very vividly in my head was one NYE, I was out with my uni girls and we went to our favourite club. I’d say the girl to guy ratio was 2:8, very male dominated. I remember walking in and trying to walk to the toilet and on that walk, got grabbed several times, my arse was slapped and hands wondered up my dress. I was that furious I didn’t even make it to the toilet but made a U turn and walked straight back out again. What was the point in telling security? They wouldn’t have been the slightest bit interested..

From my 2011 post, this was a regular occurrence. I’m quite mouthy, and especially when I’ve had a drink, I can stand up for myself. If someone touched me, especially slapping my backside, the frustration would instantly build inside and I’d turn around and snap, telling them how dare they touch me. And I got a mixed bag of reactions; I’d get the ones that were so surprised i’d got a mouth they just looked in shock and walked away, whilst others wouldn’t like that i’d retaliated and actually start shouting back and threatening me. How could they even have the audacity to have a go back at me??? Saying it was my fault for wearing a dress, that I was ‘asking’ for attention. I have always and always will dress for myself and myself only. I go out to have a good time, as do most other girls, we don’t go out to be sexually harassed by strangers.

Now on this subject, we spoke to our close male friends, who when listening to the stories replied with ‘that doesn’t happen’ and ‘what boys do that’. They couldn’t believe that these situations actually happen due to not being in that segment of males that do it. And I do believe them when they say they have never touched a girl like that, because not all males fall into the ‘its okay to grab a girls bum’ category and that is probably why they are my friends. But this makes me wonder…those males in that category, do they think that their friends doing that to girls is okay? Would they stand up for themselves and say to their mates that that kind of behaviour is not okay? I guess it depends on their view on this subject.

Just writing this has added to a long existing anger, because I know that it 100% still happens and hopefully with the current news, security and members of staff will take these complaints more seriously. More and more girls are standing up for themselves and having the confidence to come forward and show this kind of behaviour will not be tolerated anymore.

I’d love to hear peoples opinions on this, I’m now 24 and this kind of behaviour is still very much present. I still go out and STILL get inappropriately touched. Should it have taken for all these women in the news to come forward about being sexually harassed for people to realise this happens on a regular basis to a lot of women?

S x

 

Feature Image from: http://richesforrags.tumblr.com/post/107487525397/glitter-in-wonderland-xotic-fashion-make-up

Primark in October

The top 5 purchases this month!

I have lovedddd Primark this month, the transition from Summer to Autumn has really come through in the style of things now in Primark. My top 5 this month are all from the home/beauty section as I’m waiting for the super cosy jumpers to come in for the winter!

#1 Pink trinket tray

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This is my favouriteeeeeee purchase from Primark this month. I have quite a few trays like this, but this was so pretty I just couldn’t resist. It was £2, its thick, it has a pretty pattern and is super cute to keep my rings in a place where I can find them. The bonus is that it goes with the new copper in my room and sits nicely on my makeup table.

#2 Cooper storage basket

IMG_9322Copper is everywhere at the moment and I’m lovingggg it. I saw this basket, picked it up and put it in my bag without even looking at the price. I don’t know what I’m going to put in it, but I needed it in my room asap. Its sturdy, shiny and is excellent for my random bits I seem to collect, I might even put all my flat lay props in it.

 

#3 Glitter washi tape

IMG_9318November sees the proper start of my bullet journal and so ofc I needed to find some bullet journal tape. I have honestly searched everywhere for washi tape and they are either stupidly expensive or have really random gross patterns. These are glitter and for only £1.50 what a bargain. Find them in the stationary section.

#4 Lip Liners

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I have lost count on the amount of lip liners I have bought, however most have gone into the makeup draw and have never resurfaced. These however have not quite made it to the draw yet because I use them so much they stay right on top on the table. They have a great texture, they’re bright and for £1 each I can buy a colour to test it, if I don’t like it, I haven’t wasted money.

#5 Kabuki Brush

IMG_9319My rule is, that if I want to try something, I always see if theres a cheaper version in the Primark beauty section. I have heard a lot about Kabuki brushes, but not 100% how much id actually use it, so I’ve bought this one to trial, and if I do end up using it, will invest in a better one, but for now, this £2 one will do perfect!

 

 

Hope you enjoyed my top 5!

S x

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‘Sober October’

October is the start of my 365 days of self care. This month is starting it off by doing ‘Sober October’ which is ran to raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support. As well as raising money, I’m doing this to improve my self care and mental health.

It does say on the lil’ leaflet in the anti-depressant box, to not drink alcohol, but on the good days, whats a pint or ten? ‘Alcohol may seem to improve your mood in the short term, but its overall effect increases symptoms of depression and anxiety.’ Why do I keep drinking knowing its adding depression and anxiety, to my already existing depression and anxiety?

By no means am I dependant on alcohol or feel the need to drink on a daily basis, but I am one who’s very partial to a cheeky Gin, or a cold cider and black when I’m feeling stressed / want to have a good time. But, I always find that- not the day after drinking, (the hangover day) but the day after that, I am that low I cant pick myself up.

Yes alcohol is a depressive and yes they are right. I know people can be a crying drunk and I fall into this category. I have had countless nights out where I’ve ended in tears, being the one that needs to be taken home. Drinking heightens my emotions, makes me more paranoid and makes me over think. The days after I feel my overthinking gets worse, I start to question if I want to be here anymore and just overall feel groggy. My mom has even noticed  a pattern, that I only have irrational thoughts and strong hurtful feelings once I’ve been out and had a drink.*

*(Im talking going out and having excessive amounts, not a pint down the local)

Having 4 years of uni, I don’t even want to think about the amount of alcohol that has gone through my body and every time I’m wrapped around the toilet, throwing up through ’till tomorrow the words ‘I’m never drinking again’ have been said too many times.

I’m doing this month sober to see if actually I do feel better without alcohol making me dip a couple of times a month. It’s been noted there is lots of other added benefits; better sleep, better skin and a better bank balance! Look likes its a mock-tail for me this halloween!

I would love to hear of other peoples thoughts on alcohol and anti-depressants, or own experiences of going sober!

S x

Update: 1st week

I had my first sober night out out, which actually, considering a lot of people are like “I could never go out out without having a drink” I thought it was completely fine. At pres, I told the host I was doing sober October and he offered me some nice mango juice, which was v nice. I held conversations with new people I which I can still remember, and found out I don’t need alcohol to be confident. We went out to a cool bar, and ordered a pint of lemonade, to which the bar girl was like, with Vodka? and a concerned face. Funny how its weirder to order a soft drink than it is a treble vodka. I had a good dance and had good fun and at no point in the night did I feel the need to have a drink. I came home this evening after surviving 2 nights out this weekend with no alcohol and I feel fresh. Im not low, I’m not regretting drinking, to which I know can see its very likely it is alcohol that leaves me feeling shite at the end of the night.

You Are Worth So Much More

Last night I put my mom through hell.

Friday night I went very bad. My dark thoughts were telling me ‘I wasn’t good enough’ ‘Im all on my own’ ‘Nobody is wanting me’. These took over and I made myself feel physical pain. I didn’t want to be here anymore.

Saturday was spent curled up in a ball, until I decided to go out with my friends. Anything was better than staying at home on my own and having a night that turned into the same as the last.

The night ended with me out till 8am, after taking something to make me feel like I was escaping. The desire to not feel myself anymore was too much for me to cope with. I went home on my own, slept till 5pm and woke up being violently sick. I was red hot, my heart was pulsating like crazy and I felt like I was about to pass out. My mom was on her way to get me, as was the ambulance. They both arrived together, and I ended up being taken to a&e to see the crisis team. I was ashamed, disgusted with myself, guilty that I was putting my mom through all of this with me.

We waited a long time, which actually allowed time for me just to speak to my mom about how I’ve been feeling lately, why I did what I did. She’s my absolute rock and I’m so lucky that I have someone so strong behind me, supporting me everyday.

I saw this lovely lady, who sat and chatted and asked me how I felt. When she asked me what I thought triggered my depression and anxiety, and I said it all started after a  bad break up, she looked at me, shook her head and said;

You beautiful girl, don’t you dare cry over any boy. You are worth so much more.

Her words I will repeat to myself again and again.

She explained that life isn’t a book, no one knows whats coming the next day, but its up to me to live my life. Its up to me to have the life I want.

Im now being referred to a charity to talk about coping techniques and how to deal with the dark thoughts. Spending time in a&e was not fun, but admitting I was not okay and needed help was the best thing I could have done to help myself.

My plea to anybody feeling like this, to not go down my route and go to extremes to escape, but to reach out to someone. Talk to whoever you can, because as I found out, escaping didn’t work.

S x